"Lissun up me 'earties, I dun a little snoopin' and found out from the 'arbor master the Black Elephant leaves in 3 weeks, that'll give us time to make a round to Curacao and back in time to makes her ours."

"But cap'n" says a sniveling dog of a poor excuse fer a gunners mate, "I 'eard the Black Elephant belongs to the Dutch pirate hunter, Captain Longbill, nary a more ruthless hunter in all the Carribean."

"Mr. Myles, if you please."

"Right away suh!" SMACK, "Shut yur bloomin piehole, one more like dat an yu'll be given the 9tails."

"Now then men, we set sail in tha mornin' and Looie, don' yew be tryin' to sneak no more o' them local goats back on board."

After a several days uneventful journey to Curacao and back, the captain and crew of the Dread Imp anchor for a few days to wait for the departure of the Black Elephant...

"Thar she is suh!" came the lookout.

"Right then, prepare to follow, give er 8 miles or such Mr. Myles."

"Aye aye suh!"

As the rumor of his origins appear to be true, a more professional, almost military Cap'n Blackeye comes to the bow of the ship.

After several hours of closing on the Frigate, the lookout announces...

"1000 yards suh!"

"Mr. Myles, strike the colors, all boarders prepare for action, Mr. Duncan, one good round of grapeshot across her decks."

Minutes later, "Hard to starboard Mr.Myles, make range at 200 yards, fire Mr.Duncan."

BABOOOOOM!!!

"Hard to port, prepare to grapple."

As the ships collide, pirates dive onto the decks of the Frigate, many lost in the first few seconds of a bewildering amount of musket fire.

Somehow the pirates begin to overtake the soldiers, as the two captains come face to face...

"So, it's true, you've turned into a filthy scum of a thieving pirate!"comes the not so painful barb from Longbill.

"I no longer fight fer no king er country, my knee won't bend until me last breath is taken." "I give you one chance to surrender!"

As the two stand with rapiers in hand, no more than 4 feet apart, Lonbill spits at Blackeyes feet.

"So be it!" says Blackeye calmly. With his left hand that was behind his back, he produces a pistol, much to the surprised look on Longbills face.

"You've no honor" squeals Longbill.

"Correct!" sneers Blackeye!

KABOOM!

As the remainder of Longbills head bounces off the main mast, the melee comes to a halt.

Blackeye offers terms, and the Dutch soldiers, not so fearsome after all, join.

After several hours of preparing the two ships for sail, the announcement comes...

"Set sail for Port Royal Mr.Myles, and dammit Looie, git rid o' that goat!"

I's been 2 weeks out 'o Aruba, sailing a wee bit slow! By best reckoning, should hit landfall in a few days.

"Mr.Myles, assemble dem poppy pickers what so willfully joined our merry bunch!"

"Aye aye suh."

After several hours, standing under the sweltering heat of the Carribean sun, out comes the nefarious captain from his cabin for his new crew to meet...

"In the next few days, we be dockin in Port Royal, yew lot signed de articles, let it be known that if'n yew try an scurry off to da gub'ner or stow aboard annuder ship, yu'll be hunted down like a dog and put to the sword."

"Yer no longer fightin fer no king, but for the endless pursuit o' gold and plunder, so if'n ye try's to get soldier like or cross any o' me officers, yu'll meet the gunners mistress."

"In the mornin' pesos will be distributed so's that yew can do some proper drinkin' and whorin'."

In Port Royal...

"Suh, de shipwright sez one more week. 'es got er renamed to de Twisted Sister, but why dat name suh?"

"Well, Mr.Myles, ye's don't know me sister, but she 'ad the devil 'imself in er. Never did me no wrong, but many a man met thar fate at er 'ands. She was burned at de stake as a witch. Besides, Crazy Penelope don't 'ave much of a ring to it."

"Mr.Duncan 'as overseen the loadin' o' provisions and ammunition suh. Are ya really sellin' the Dread Imp suh?"

"Unfortunately we're runnin' a little short o' crew. I needs a few more off'cers and crew, 'cause soon we break fer Tortuga and then back down to the main."

Next up... off to Tortuga

In the port of Tortuga...

Ahh! The mighty port o' Tortuga. The captain and crew of the Twisted Sister have disembarked, pirates headin fer the whorehouses and pubs, in no particular order.

"First order of business Mr.Myles, find me an officer what can lead these swabs on boardin's, raids and any other kind o' terror ye kin thinks of. The bigger, meaner and uglier the better."

"Right away suh!"

"I'm 'eadin fer the Silver Sloop, I unnerstand that be a haven for Cutthroats like us."

Several hours later, after a few tankards o' the best rum around...

"Suh, dis 'ere be Big John Spike, 'es notorious round dese parts."

"Whats e notorious fer?"

"Well suh, e's big, e's mean, e's ugly and he hunts wild pigs wid 'is bare hands. An the whores 'ave a particular fondness fer 'em."

"Yes, then. I see you've got quite a collection of cutlery around yer belt, but no sword. What exactly is yer specialty?"

"Aye mon, I an I be de only man who can chase down de wild boar and break is neck. We no need a big knife to do de killin'. But to proves I and I are de man fer de job, give me that knife and I be showin ya!"

Somewhat reluctantly, the good Cap'n hands over his gold hilted cutlass.

With one swift move, Spike cleaves a hitching post in two, without so much as a scratch on the blade.

"Yer hired."

"Mr.Myles, outfit this man and give him 50 pesos, we'll be in port for some time. Make sure 'e knows how to use a pistol as well. I'll be taking the rowboat and a few men back to the ship for tonight."

"Very well suh."

Later onboard ship in his cabin, Blackeye starts to wander off into a haze of pirate happiness...

KRASH!

From out of his closet comes the shadow of a wildman, as Blackeye wrestles with the figure, his hand manages to come across the last empty bottle he finished.

As he smashes it over the head of the figure, his cabin boy rushes in with a lantern...

"Suh, are yew alright?"

"I'm fine Samuel, let's have a look here."

He rolls the swab over...

"Suh, 'es the cabin boy o' that basturd Longbill!"

"Clap 'em in irons Samuel, we'll deal wit dis blackard in the mawning!"

Next morning...

"Samuel, find me Mr.Myles, 'ave em assemble the crew!"

"Right away suh!"

Several hours later...

"Mr.Myles, bring forward the treacherous dog and the rest of the scurvy poppy pickers!"

"I told yew men 'dat if'n anyone crosses me crew, dere'd be hell to pay, did'nt spect that yew'd be comin fer me!"

"I will only pose dis question once, which of yew men be willing to die fer dis lad, what has is brain in such distress?"

LONG EEEERY SILENCE...

"Mr.Myles, which o' these filthy buggers signed the articles last?"

"That man thar suh."

"Mr.Spike, as yer first act o' keepin' these mangy scoundrels in order, bound that man to dis' 'ere lad."

"Yes suh!"

With a gleam in his eyes, Spike binds the two men together...

"Lift 'em to the plank lads."

Kicking and screaming the two are set on the plank...

"Let 'dis be a lessen in loyalty. Mr.Myles if you please!"

With a slash of his cutlass across both their thighs, the blood gouts forth with two mighty screams. Then a boot to the stomach of the cabin boy and off they go into the waters o' Tortuga.

"Never a finer feast fer de sharks!"

"We sail in two weeks!"

Favors...

 

After a nearly all day visit to the governors mansion, an eager capn Blackeye walks up the gang plank of the Twisted Sister...

"Mr. Myles, gather the officers in the mess, have Mr. Spike get the last of the provisions loaded!"

"Aye, aye suh!"

An hour or so later...

"Men, the guvner 'as asked that we do 'im a favor, there's a pack o' scurvy ridden brigs plunderin ships 20-30 miles north o' here in the name o' the Spanish. All we needs to do, is bring back those ships and keeps whatever plunder we wants, the guvner wants to deprive the leader of those pox ridden swabs 'is ships. We's got enuff men to take several ships, we do this, and one last round o' supplies, and back down to the main, by way of Trinidad. Are ye wit me lads?"

A cheer goes up at the thought of immediate gain before the real plunderin starts.

"We sail in the morning."

The next day, the frigate and her crew of Cutthroats set sail to the north of Tortuga. After a full day of sailing, the lookout shouts "Ships ahoy."

"What do ya make of 'em Looie?"

Several minutes later, "It's a large fleet suh! 9 miles."

"Any flags?"

Another few minutes, "They're not flying any colors."

"I sees 3 brigs, a fluyte, a merchantman and a pinnace suh!"

"Mr. Myles, get all hands to decks, I believe these be the filthy buggers we's looking fer!"

After 2 hours sailing towards the enemy fleet, the lookout shouts...

"4 miles sir, they've struck their colors suh!"

"I dunno suh, that's a lot o' ships to be surenderin to 1 frigate."

"Quite right Mr. Myles, keep the gun ports open, Mr. Spike prepare a prize crew!"

"Right away suh!"

As the lone frigate came closer to the fleet of ships sailing in a line, the crew was astonished to see the remains of 6 ships that looked like the devil had blessed them.

Upon reaching the lead ship, Blackeye shouts out... "Who's in charge of this rabble?"

"I guess that would be me suh," came the words from one of the very few men of the motley crew.

"Wheres yer cap'n?" barked an irritated Blackeye.

"'e was killed in battle suh! We wuz tryin to escape the dons what wuz sent by the guvner o' Havana. Tha dirty don basturd double crossed me cap'n after he commissioned 'im to capture dese Dutch traders."

"Heave to and prepare to be boarded, Mr. Spike if you please."

After a night and day of looting and deciding which ships to keep...

"What do you think Mr. Myles?"

"Well suh, the guv wants the brigs, I says we takes 'em and keeps the rest fer ourselves, cept we only got enuff officers fer 4 ships."

"Take the brigs and the pinnace, scuttle the rest, any men what wants to join, sign 'em up, and bring me the lad what gots 'em out o' the jaws o' death."

After several more hours of preparation, the ships set sail.

"Whats yer name lad?" asks Blackeye.

"Oliver Tully suh!"

"Well, I's offerin ya the opportunity to join as one o' me officers, but I expects you be honorin' the articles if'n ye do."

"Yes suh, thank you suh!"

"By the way, who put the hurtin to so many ships like that?"

"Our cap'n only knowed him by the name El Feo suh!"

"Dismissed Mr.Tully."

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